the wrong kind of love #31

Chapter 31Mandy stood outside her front door, dreading going in. Her stomach was in knots and her heart beat was rapid. Of course, she knew what Nicky wanted to talk about, but she just worried about how she was going to react and deal with the situation. She swore to herself she wouldn’t cry. Whether she could keep that promise was another story. Taking a deep breath and exhaling, she opened the door and walked in. When she walked into the living room, she saw Nicky pacing around nervously. That’s when she realised this was just as bad for him as it was for her. She looked at him and put her bag on the sofa.“Hey!” she whispered, standing there.“Mandy!” he smiled nervously, “How was work?”“Interesting. It has been a very interesting day today. Full of new…revelations!” she answered, studying his reaction.Nicky looked at her curiously. Mandy wanted to tell him she knew about all his shenanigans before he announced it himself, just to have one over him. But at the same time, she wanted to see him squirm.“Oh, right!” he answered, “Well, anyway. I needed to talk to you about something…delicate!”He tugged nervously on his collar and banged his fists together, swinging his arms round his waist and back.Mandy stared at him. She closed her eyes and tried to contain her beating heart. She was pretty sure he could hear it from where he was standing, “Yeah. I found out so many new things today!” she repeated.Nicky stared at her for a brief moment before he continued.“I have been wanting to tell you this for a very, very long time now, but I just never found the courage!” he added.“That’s what I love about working. All the gossiping!” she smiled, not paying any attention to him.“But I have to tell you now coz it is killing me. It is really tearing me apart and I cannot go on any longer. I cannot live like this anymore!” he sighed.“Not always good news though!” she added on her own topic of conversation.Nicky stared at her, “Are you even listening to me?”“Are you listening to me?” she shrugged.“Mandz, I am trying to tell you something here and it is very difficult for me!” he sighed.“Oh rubbish. How can it be so hard to tell someone you’re married to that you’re having an affair with someone from work?” she hissed.Nicky stared at her and blinked, “What?” he gasped.“You heard!” she sneered.“But…How…” he stammered, lost for words.“How do I know?” she questioned.Nicky just stared at her.“Just put it this way, Nicky. You have your lover in your office, make sure that you either 1/ lock the door completely and not leave it slightly open, or 2/ make sure your secretary is outside!” she snarled.Nicky bowed his head down and sighed.“I gave you the chance to admit this to me last week. Yet you still lied to me!” she growled with tears in her eyes. She fought to keep them in. She tried so hard to keep her own promise of not crying in front of him.Nicky sighed and sank down on the sofa, “I am so sorry!” he whispered, with tears in his eyes, “I didn’t want you to find out that way. Oh god, I so didn’t want you to find out like that!”“I asked you straight out if you were having an affair. You looked deep into my eyes and said no!” she gave up on her promise and let her tears out. They spilled rapidly down her cheeks, “And what’s more? You got really offended that I had asked you!”Nicky sighed and wiped his own tears away.“How long has it been going on Nicky?” she asked.“Does it matter?” he mumbled.“Of course it fucking matters!” she screamed, “It matters to me!”“4 weeks!” he admitted in shame.“So more or less when you started working there!” she sighed, “When we got to Dublin. Didn’t waste much time, did ya?”“We had already met before in conference meetings and business trips” he answered, “So we knew each other pretty well!”“Was that the reason you wanted to get promoted so badly?” she moaned.Nicky bit his lip and nodded slowly, “Partly, yes! But I did also genuinely want that promotion for the extra responsibilities!”“So all this staying late after work shite was all a load of bollocks then was it?” she spat.“Not always, no!” he shook his head, with his head still hung down.Mandy paced around the room furiously, “You made me believe you were really working later, when all the time you were fucking Charlie around! I slaved over you, making you dinners so that I could throw it away hours later. I treated you with nothing but respect, Nicky. I fucking loved you Damn it!” she screamed.“Oh god, Mandy. I love you too baby. But I cannot help the way I feel! It’s not something I can control!” he cried.“Well, maybe you should!” she screamed at him. She had a sudden thought and turned around, “Your last business trip!”Nicky looked up at her quickly, panic stricken, “What about it?”“That was no business trip, was it?” she croaked.“Yes it was. It was a business trip!” he sighed.“Which you used as a holiday to take that…that…” she hissed.Nicky sighed and looked down.“You took your lover on a break? ON OUR FUCKING ANNIVERSARY???” she screamed loudly.“I am so, so sorry Mandy. I really am. Please…” he cried.“How fucking insensitive can you be? You couldn’t control your itching cock for one day? For one fucking day? Our special day? Have you no self-control? Do you not care for me at all?” she screamed, walking up and down and finally to hi, slapping his arms hard.“Don’t say that, Mandy! You know how much I love you!” he cried, defending himself from her slaps.“Yeah, you love me so fucking much that you go running to someone else’s arms at night!” she snarled, “OH god, to think I had you making love to me after shagging…shagging…THAT!!!”Nicky got up and paced around the room, “Look, I don’t know why I did what I did, ok? I cannot help the way I feel. I wish I could, but I can’t. You want an answer, but I cannot give you one. OK, so I lied to you. I betrayed you. But I had my reasons for that!” he shouted in frustration.“4 years, Nicky! 4 fucking years we’ve been married. 4!!! 6 years together. HOW???” she screamed.“I don’t know!” he whined loudly, sitting down again with his head in his hands, “I am not proud of myself about this, Mandz. Not at all!”Mandy sighed and sat down aswell. She put her head on her hands in the same way as Nicky and rocked back and forth, “This is such a mess!” she cried.“I know!” he whispered.Mandy removed her hands from her face and looked back. Her eyes were glistening with tears. Her cheeks were bright red and her lips seemed swollen from all the crying.“So…What happens now?” he finally asked, merely in a whisper.“I dunno!” she shrugged.“Well. What do you want?” he asked.“I think I am the one who should be asking YOU that!” she muttered.Nicky sighed, “I am so confused at the moment!”“Well, join the fucking club!” she snapped.“Please don’t be like this Mandz! I was hoping we could do this amicably!” he sighed.Mandy stared at him, laughing slightly with shock, “Friends? Are you having a laugh?”Nicky looked at her, rolled his eyes and looked down again.“How on EARTH could you possibly believe that would ever happen. Huh? You cheated on me, Nicky. You’re shagging someone else behind my back, and you expect me to remain buddies with you?” she screamed.Nicky sighed and got up, “You’re still very, very special to me, Mandz. Nothing has changed, only the fact that I am in love with someone else right now!”“In love?” she gasped.Nicky realised what he had said and shook his head, hoping the ground would swallow him up.“You’re in love? Fucking hell, Nicky. I only thought you were shagging. Not for one second did I think it could be love!” she gasped with tears in her eyes.“Yeah, well. As I said, nothing has changed. My feelings for you are still there!” he sighed.“Oh, a lot more than that has changed, Nicky. And you know it!” she grunted.Nicky stared at her, “I still love you though!”Mandy got up furiously, “Will you stop saying that?” she screamed.“Well, I do!” he repeated, raising his voice, “Nothing and noone has ever changed the fact that I do actually love you!”“No. Only the fact that you have fallen in love with another man and there is fuck all I can do about it!” she spat!