chapter 55

Brian finally pulled away from Mandy and stared at her with a huge smirk on his face. He put his hands on his hips and raised his eyebrows at her.
“Weren’t expecting that, were you?” he smirked.
Mandy just scowled and looked away, “I hate you!”
“And I love you too!” he grinned.
“No, I said I hate you!” she groaned even louder.
“Yeah I know. And I said I love you too!” he laughed.
Mandy just turned her head and stared at him, “Do you have any idea how fucking annoying you are?”
Brian shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pocket, “Well, do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are?”
Mandy now shook with anger, “Why are you doing this?” she screamed, stamping her feet.
“Doing what, sweetheart? What am I doing?” he grinned.
“Trying to wind me up. Trying to annoy me! I thought we were friend!” she cried.
“We are!” he shrugged, “Which is exactly why I am doing this!”
“No. A friend would let me get on with things!” she sniffed.
Brian shook his head, “No. A REAL friend would stop you from doing something you would regret in the morning. Mandy, you are not even properly pissed for fucks sake, and here you are, acting like this. I know your self esteem is at its lowest at the moment, but this is not the way to raise it. You will only end up hurting and hating yourself! IS that what you want?”
Mandy bowed her head down and shrugged, “I already hate myself Brian! I despise myself!”
She started running off when Brian ran after her. He was not letting her go this time. HE caught up with her and stopped her, “Wait!” he panted, grabbing her arm.
“Leave me alone!” she screamed, pulling her arm away, “Just leave me alone!”
She ran upstairs and out of the club. Brian sighed and went upstairs slowly, knowing she had already disappeared on him. Mark just stared at him.
“Don’t ask, mate!” sighed Brian.
“I’m not on duty anymore. Want me to find her and have a word?” he offered.
“That would be great, thanks. It would do her good to listen to someone else. She just won’t listen to me!” sighed Brian.
Mark nodded and ran off. Brian sighed and went back downstairs. He ordered himself a drink and sat at the bar. HE then got a cigarette and lit it up.
“Shouldn’t you be with her?” asked Nicky from behind him.
Brian turned around and rolled his eyes. He was the last person he wanted to talk to, “Yes I should. Only she won’t let me anywhere near her!”
“IS she ok?” he asked.
Brian looked at him and sighed, “What do you fucking think?”
“You are not really together, are you?” he asked.
“Well spotted mate. Well bloody done! Nothing really gets by you, does it?” he rolled his eyes in sarcasm.
Nicky sighed, “I’m sorry. This is all my fault!”
“Yes, it is!” growled Brian, “If you had been honest with her from the start, then she might not be so fucked up in the head!”
“I know!” sighed Nicky, “It was just hard!”
Brian closed his eyes, knowing he shouldn’t have snapped at him like that, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Yeah I can imagine it would be hard!”
“I guess I should talk to her!” shrugged Nicky, looking back.
Brian looked at him and raised an eyebrow as he took a sip of his drink, “Do you really think that would help?”
“Well, I dunno. But I can try!” he shrugged.
Brian sighed and turned around again as Nicky sat on the stool next to him, “Her self esteem is really low at the moment. She feels like she is the ugliest creature on earth at the moment, when we all know that’s a load of bollocks. She needs to build her self-esteem back up again and she is trying to do that by trying to get some male attention. It is only normal, I suppose. But she feels that’s the only way to do it. We need to convince her that she is worth much more than a couple of one night stands she will only regret!”
Nicky nodded, “I’ll take her out for lunch on Monday!”
Brian shook his head, “No, don’t ask her out to lunch. She will only build her hopes up. Just meet her at the café without telling her anything. I’ll make sure she goes down!”
Nicky smiled and nodded, “Ok then. You let me know the details ok?”
Brian stubbed his cigarette out and nodded. Nicky smiled and turned around, walking away. Be fore he did so, he turned again and looked at Brian, “Thanks for looking after her. She needs a mate like you around!”
Brian pressed his lips together and nodded before Nicky turned to walk away.

Mandy continued running when she was stopped by someone tugging on her arm. Thinking it was Brian, she violently pulled away and screamed at him, “I said leave me alone!”
Mark kept a firm grip on her, “Not until you calm down!” he calmly explained.
Hearing Mark’s voice, Mandy stopped struggling and turned around to look at him, “Mark!” she gasped.
He smiled at her and nodded.
“What are you doing here?” she gasped.
“Someone had to come after you.” he smiled.
Mandy stared at him for a while and then bowed her head down, “He sent you, didn’t he?”
Mark shook his head, “Noone sent me. I just thought you might need a bit of company and someone to talk to, so I came after you!”
Mandy sighed and sat on the nearest bench. Mark slowly sat next to her, “Talk to me Mand!”
“About what?” she shrugged, chewing on her nails.
“About what’s going on in your mind! How are you feeling? What is it you want?” he shrugged.
Mandy sighed and shook her head, “I cannot talk about that!”
“Why not?” asked Mark, confused.
“Coz I have no idea how I am feeling. I don’t have a clue about what I want. My mind is a big knotted mess which I cannot understand!” she cried getting up and putting her hands on her head, “I am just so confused!”
“Yes I can imagine you are. I know you are going through a very tough time at the moment, Mandy, and I know you have a lot on your mind. Noone expects you to deal with it alone. We are all trying to be here for you. We are all trying to be your friend. Even Brian!” he explained.
Mandy slowly sat back down and put her head on her hands, “Brian!” she whispered.
“What about him?” asked Mark.
Mandy sighed and shook her head.
“He thinks the world of you, you know that, right?” he asked.
Mandy raised her head, “I cannot get involved with him Mark. It’s too soon!” she admitted.
“Noone is asking you to get involved with anyone. I am just asking you how you feel about him!” he smiled.
“Well…he’s a great friend. I see him and he instantly makes me feel warm inside. He is always making me laugh and I love him for it. He’s great company!” she shrugged.
“Great company!” repeated Mark, “Is that all?”
Mandy sighed, “He’s a great friend!”
“Friend!” repeated Mark.
“Fucks sake, Mark, what do you want me to say that he’s a great lover? Coz I wouldn’t know!” she huffed.
Mark shook his head and tried not to laugh, “What is it you want at the moment?”
Mandy shrugged, “I told you. I do not know!”
Mark smiled, “Ok, close your eyes for a minute!” he smiled.
Mandy looked at him curiously.
“Trust me. Just close them!” he laughed.
Mandy sighed and closed her eyes.
“Ok, now look deep into your heart. Feel your heart!” he smiled, placing her hand on her chest, “Just feel it beating. Look into that heart and then tell me what it is telling you to do!”
There was a pause for a while.
“I want….” She paused again.
Mark smiled, “Go on!”
“I want someone to love me. I want to share my life with someone who is honest and kind and loving. Someone who will treat me like a princess. I want my life to finally be happy and I want to share that life with the man who does that…a man who makes me happy…a man who makes me smile…a man who…a man who makes me laugh. I want to spend the rest of my life loving this man!” she mumbled.
Mark smiled, “Do you know anyone who could do that?”
Mandy sighed and nodded, “I always thought Nicky could, but I was wrong. He wasn’t honest with me. But I know Brian is!”
She opened her eyes, shocked at her own confession. She looked at Mark who just grinned at her.
“OH god, what am I saying?” she shrieked, getting up.
“Just follow your heart, Mandy!” smiled Mark.
“But I am not ready.” She whined, “My head is telling me to play the field a bit. There are plenty of men to choose from!”
Mark sighed, “Then listen to your head for a wee bit, give it what it wants but then you must follow your heart. Your heart is always right. It always takes you to good places. The heart does not know of any bad places.” He smiled, “It will never let you down!”
“Yeah, but there is this constant battle between my head and my heart, and just when I think my heart is winning, along comes my head and springs up again. I dunno what I want anymore Mark!” she cried.
Mark smiled and held her in her arms, swaying her back and forth, “It’s hard, I know. When I met Fina, I was like you. Someone I thought would be THE ONE had just dumped me! OH yeah, it took me a while to trust anyone again, but Fina kept being there for me. And eventually I realised. I loved her all along. I just never thought I did, because she was being a friend, but I loved her!”
Mandy looked up at him, “How did you finally know?”
Mark smiled, “It was one day when she went on holiday with her parents. I was left alone here in Dublin. I realised how much I missed her. I couldn’t be without her anymore. I missed her smell, I missed her touch, I missed her voice. I missed everything about her. I couldn’t be without her anymore!”
“And what happened?” sniffed Mandy.
“Well, I waited until she got back. And when she did, I kissed her. She did not even pull away. I kissed her. And the moment I did, I realised, she really was THE ONE! And here we are, Still together and still very much in love, with 2 kids. And hoping for a third!” he winked.
Mandy just sighed.
“What I suggest is to have a really good chat with Brian. Tell him what you have just told me. Clearly, you are not ready for a relationship yet and with good reason too. I am sure he understands that. Tonight, he was just stopping you from making a huge mistake. That guy you were trying to pull was bad news, Mandz. I told him that, so its my fault he interfered. I have seen that guy in here before. He would hurt you, even on a one-night stand! Brian was just trying to protect you…like friends do!”
Mandy nodded, “Yeah, I know!”
“Here’s what we are going to do now. We are going back to the club. You are going to get Brian and you are going to talk to him!” he smiled.
Mandy sniffed and nodded, pulling away from him, “Yeah, I suppose!”
Mark laughed, “There’s no suppose about it. You are going to talk to him and you are going to set the record straight with him. The sooner you do that, the better!”
Mandy smiled and nodded.
“Come on then. Let’s go” grinned Mark.